Get A Grip.....

This is one of Kev's favorite sayings.

In our house we know it is code for "Hold to the Rod".

Stay close to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I believe it came from one of his past lessons in Elders Quorum.

It is common when the boys are heading out the door for K to 

holler out to them, 

Hey Ryker, Get a Grip son, Get a Grip!

I have always liked this,
 it came to my mind today as I was running.

I was thinking back to this past Sunday, Fast Sunday.....

and how much I had wanted to get up and share my testimony.

I had all the symptoms barring down on me,

pounding, racing heart,

nerves pricked and on edge,

jittery, sweating, anxious, excited.

I kept waiting for a lull in the action.

A break in the procession.

I mentioned to K that I was going to make my move soon.

He was like, what, no, just let the people go.

Sheeesh!

Anyway, that is what I did.

I let all of the other people go.

I loved the meeting so much.  

Every testimony was a much needed glass of "living"water for me.

My cup was brimming to over flowing at the end.

My empty glass was once again renewed and full.

I have a good friend whom I admire very much.

Sometimes I remember back,
to maybe a year ago when she was really 

distraught and concerned.

She said she had stopped getting that feeling of needing to 

bear her testimony.

Prior to this stage she had felt it many times,

almost regularly on each fast Sunday.

She said she got into the habit of just ignoring it,
simply waiting it out until it passed....

it eventually always did.

She did this because of lots of reasons.....

She was too nervous to go up.

She didn't want to leave the kids on the bench alone.

She wasn't sure of what she would say, etc.

Then one day she realized that she had not had that feeling in a while. 

She began waiting for it,

expecting it,

anticipating it....

even got to the point of praying for its return and fasting for 

confirmation that she could still feel the spirit.

She was truly at a loss, heartbroken and scared that she 

had repressed it for so long that she would not get it back.

She was not sure she could share her testimony with out that burning feeling.

Anyway, I remember the day she finally got up and bore her testimony again.

I knew that she had waited for, fasted, and prepared,
and that no matter what,

whether the spirt she sought came or not, 

she would have faith, 

and would be bearing her testimony on that Sunday.

It was a spiritual, happy reunion. 

That has stuck with me....

I want to keep that feeling coming.

The time ran out on me on Sunday.

That is ok, 

there was not a testimony shared that I would have wanted to miss

to make space for my own. 

 I think back about that feeling as it left my body.....

fully aware of it's pending departure if I declined to 

accept its call.

My heart rate slowed,

lump in my throat softened and went away,

all systems back to normal.

One of the final testimonies was a brother that said his wife 

gave him the nudge he needed when she reminded him that this Sunday,

the 4th of December, would be his last chance to 

bear his testimony this year.

Oh my Goodness!!!

I don't want to miss my chance to share my feelings before 

2011 ends. 

Soooooo....

sorry, but this may be long.... 

I did Partake.....

I would feel amiss if I did not acknowledge conference this weekend.  I loved it.  I did not see it all, but that is the beauty of technology.....I have it ALL DVRd.  I have already started going back and taking in what I missed the first time.  

This picture of the conference center takes my breath away.  It is an overwhelming sight and very powerful to me.  I can imagine the tangible spirit in the room....can feel a portion as I type.  Truly magnificent.  

Looking at this brings back a really fun memory for me.  My parents have a time share at the Kimball - it is an old rickety condo facility that is directly across from the conference center.  They keep it up nice enough....but it just has that smell about it.  Like a convalescent center or something.  My parents offered it up to all the kids, and Kev and I took them up on one of the nights "out on the town".  It was all pretty and snowy.  Our window looked out (let's see.....I am directionally challenged so this is taking way too much brain power) Ok, we were on the side of the mountains looking over at the center.  Make sense all you Utahns?  We could see the beautiful Christmas lights, people walking in their puffy coats and boots.  The place had such a glow about it....the light off the snow.  We were in our cozy little studio with the pull down bed.  We watched, man, I cannot think of the name.....oh yeah, Land Before Time.......INSANE, but we had some good laughs.  They have a little movie rental place down in the lobby......pretty decent selection.  This place is so creepy, yet so homey also. ?!  It reminds of the movie Psycho.  The original.  Believe me when I say we stayed in our room w/ the door locked, we didn't do to much wandering or investigating before it was just too terrifying.  

Ok great night.  The next morning we walked over and got to see the Christmas Spoken Word recorded.  It was so, so wonderful.  This was my first time in the conference center.  It was sooooooooo  much of everything.  The stage was decorated to the nines, to be made to look like a cozy Christmastime scene.  It was so much fun to see the process of the recording and be able to sit and watch,  feel, and hear the most beautiful music on earth.  Bell ringers were a big part of the program, loved it.  It was a spiritual and uplifting event that I hope to repeat every year as long as we make it to Utah for our annual wintertime visit.  The only thing that would make it even better is if our family were there with us.  Everybody!  

Back to conference....  My plan is to watch each talk again, and be able to really listen.  It is tricky to watch conf with the whole family.  Important and super terrific, but I don't always get the full gist of what is being offered. 

My first redo talk was by  Jeffrey R. Holland   (click his name to watch) I really love his message.  It is centered on gratitude.  There are many highlights to take away, but a few of my very favorite moments are when he tells of the time a little older sister comes up to speak with him, in the course of their conversation, she says, "I have never been a leader of anything in the church, I guess I am just a helper."  It was like she somehow did not feel worthy.  What he says in response is so right.  (you will have to watch it yourself to see).  I know women who feel like this, and it boggles my mind.  I am staggered at their strengths and the things they do lead in.   The families they are raising.  They are sooooo much more than a title.    

My other part is when he speaks of his mission.  He saved and worked, and sold personal items and thought he had adequately prepared to pay for his service.  He had a wonderful mission, and upon his return home his parents immediately got a call of their own to serve.  He was a little panicked when he wondered how he was going to be able to pay for college and get going all on his own.  He went to the bank and checked into his account to see what was left of his funds....if any.  The bank manager....a family friend said, Jeffery, it is ALL THERE.  All of it. Your parents did not touch a cent of your money.  He had never known.  Not one word on his mission.  His dad worked harder than ever, his mother got the first job of her life to support him.  Their sacrifice was not know until later.  

Man, what parents.  Have I ever come close to sacrificing to that magnitude?  Have I ever even sacrificed?  Will I be called upon to do so?  Will I be as selfless as these loving parents?  

What was your favorite talk?

Did you have a moment in conference that was just for you?

As I re-watch, or watch for the first time all of conference I will blog a little.  I would love to hear your take also.