Secrets don't make friends.....NEW BOOK!!

Tomorrow night I am to host book club.

Orphan Train is the book we will be reviewing....

it was pretty good,

based on a true story,

moved along pretty well, and so forth....

but it just didn't totally grab me, 

I could put it down.

I probably won't really remember it in a month...

to be honest, 

I may be hard pressed to remember much about

it for tomorrow,

good thing there are some pretty good talkers in our club : )

It won't matter what I recall, it will come back once we start discussing it.

It really was a pretty good book :)

The book I am 

DYING TO DISCUSS AND REVIEW

is 

Our bishop was over the other night, 

my copy was out on the table,

flipped upside down,

he picked it up, 

Oh!

 what's this?

a new book?

I was clamoring around.....trying to get to it and put it away,

hum hawing and feeling the urge to explain just the

title was a little silly, 

it's not really like it sounds.....

whatever.

I felt kind of lame.

anyway.....

I really, really enjoyed the Husbands Secret!!

I think I am giving it my first 5 star rating!

It wasn't smutty,  just a little sexy.

It was emotional,

It was thought provoking,

made me want to take a look at my own life.

My attitudes, and the way I interact in my personal relations....

and mainly with in my RELATIONSHIP.

I really, really like Liane Moriarty.

She is a great writer, and I enjoyed (and remember) the first

book I read that she authored...

Here is a short little video I found on YouTube of her discussing 

the Husband's Secret.....

take a look

(you can find out if you'd like to read it also).

She is very normal.

Her blog is nice,

written by a regular middle aged woman.

I like that she is hugely successful,

 and yet still just a bit insecure and the same as everyone else.

The book is exciting from the get go,

you are introduced to the main character, and you get into her story  

very fast, you think you are staying put,

you are ready to nestle down with pop corn,

but no, 

you branch off into two other story lines..... 

none are any less intriguing than the first (amazing!).

They eventually all wrap back around together.

Liane does such a good job developing the characters and 

the way they relate and treat one another,

how they justify their decisions.

I like being able to 

read their internal dialog, what they are really thinking,

or wanting to say, because that is exactly what we 

do in real life.

Don't we??

I sure do.

Much of it is relatable.

Sometimes it is sad seeing the time that is wasted because of pride,

ego, or misunderstanding.

Or to see how mean we can be.

......Only we don't recognize it as mean.......

our withholding for some reason.
Or not allowing the closeness that could have been, or could be.

Maybe we are trying to prove an important point.....

teach a lesson.

Whatever our reasons are,

sure seems like there's a better way....

I am guessing that all of us,

more than anything else,

 want deep meaningful relationships.

So why is it so easy to put up 

all those walls?

Play those miserable games.
Why do we even say play?.....it is no fun.

We keep parts of ourself pulled back just a little.

.... tucked away to keep us safe,

don't want to be too vulnerable, or exposed.

I wonder why it seems so difficult at times,

and other times it all comes easy.

I think that is why relationships are so fascinating and 

wonderful, and maddening and annoying at others.

They keep us on our toes.

Always out smarting us.

I am thankful for the ebb and flow.....

THANK GOODNESS for the ebb, or is it the flow?

Which is the good one?

At times 

We waste energy and effort on 

acquaintances that 

don't matter.

We fret, and plan, and put our best self forward for 

everybody else.....but not the very person (or people) that 

we desire to have closest to us.

The person we want 

to know and love us the best.

We let our egos guide our actions and words in the 

relationship that means the most to us.

Self protective pride.

I wish it was never invented.

I keep saying WE....

I guess I am assuming I am not alone

in these lame relationship blunders.

Sometimes I need a swift kick in the pants to 

get back to where I know I can be.

Humble my self, not get offended, not be critical,

or so dang serious.

Just shake it off woman!!

Go do some stretching for heavens sake.

Remember how to flirt.

Try to be a little funny now and then.

I would do well to lighten up.

Reminders are good.

Fresh perspective.....

I like my reminders in the form of a delicious novel.

Here are some things I will be paying closer attention to, 

especially pertaining to my mate:

Be quicker to compliment......I often think them in my mind....

I need to get them out in verbal format.

I like to hear when my man thinks I look Hot!

wouldn't he enjoy the same?

Express my gratitude.

Communicate what I am thinking or feeling.

Share more....

Invite more ...

Admit when I am wrong, say I am sorry....

if and when this (being wrong) ever happens I will definitely apologize.

Admit that I wish.....
I remember......

I love.....

I want....

A tangible Family Goal:

I will watch football with the family.

I will sit and watch a game without looking at a magazine, my phone, or planner.

I will use my eyes to focus on the plays.

I actually know that it will be a blast.....

but there just always seems to be something 

way more important for me to be doing when a game is on.

But I want the benefits that will come from being a part of these games

that are so enjoyed by certain other members of our family

......Those benefits are what I am after.

Plus I have always said,

 I can't wait to watch games together as a family,
and drink hot cocoa (Choffy) and eat tomato soup, and 

cheese toast wiches like we did when I was growing up.

I remember that good, fun, warm, exciting feeling watching BYU games together.

The Fridge, and Jim McMan....

I was into it!

I was into the atmosphere of it.

The bond of cheering together.

of being let down together.....

we'll get em next time!
 kind of stuff.

but,

 I'm embarrassed to say,

 I have not really taken advantage of this much yet with my own family.

Ethan will turn 17 in a few weeks....

I will loose my chance here very quickly.

................

It will always be easy to blame.

but truthfully,

it comes right down to being the kind of person you want to be married to.

Treat your partner the way you want to be treated.

Love how you want to be loved.

Open up to receive the same.

The Golden Rule.....is a terrific tool.