Get A Grip.....

This is one of Kev's favorite sayings.

In our house we know it is code for "Hold to the Rod".

Stay close to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I believe it came from one of his past lessons in Elders Quorum.

It is common when the boys are heading out the door for K to 

holler out to them, 

Hey Ryker, Get a Grip son, Get a Grip!

I have always liked this,
 it came to my mind today as I was running.

I was thinking back to this past Sunday, Fast Sunday.....

and how much I had wanted to get up and share my testimony.

I had all the symptoms barring down on me,

pounding, racing heart,

nerves pricked and on edge,

jittery, sweating, anxious, excited.

I kept waiting for a lull in the action.

A break in the procession.

I mentioned to K that I was going to make my move soon.

He was like, what, no, just let the people go.

Sheeesh!

Anyway, that is what I did.

I let all of the other people go.

I loved the meeting so much.  

Every testimony was a much needed glass of "living"water for me.

My cup was brimming to over flowing at the end.

My empty glass was once again renewed and full.

I have a good friend whom I admire very much.

Sometimes I remember back,
to maybe a year ago when she was really 

distraught and concerned.

She said she had stopped getting that feeling of needing to 

bear her testimony.

Prior to this stage she had felt it many times,

almost regularly on each fast Sunday.

She said she got into the habit of just ignoring it,
simply waiting it out until it passed....

it eventually always did.

She did this because of lots of reasons.....

She was too nervous to go up.

She didn't want to leave the kids on the bench alone.

She wasn't sure of what she would say, etc.

Then one day she realized that she had not had that feeling in a while. 

She began waiting for it,

expecting it,

anticipating it....

even got to the point of praying for its return and fasting for 

confirmation that she could still feel the spirit.

She was truly at a loss, heartbroken and scared that she 

had repressed it for so long that she would not get it back.

She was not sure she could share her testimony with out that burning feeling.

Anyway, I remember the day she finally got up and bore her testimony again.

I knew that she had waited for, fasted, and prepared,
and that no matter what,

whether the spirt she sought came or not, 

she would have faith, 

and would be bearing her testimony on that Sunday.

It was a spiritual, happy reunion. 

That has stuck with me....

I want to keep that feeling coming.

The time ran out on me on Sunday.

That is ok, 

there was not a testimony shared that I would have wanted to miss

to make space for my own. 

 I think back about that feeling as it left my body.....

fully aware of it's pending departure if I declined to 

accept its call.

My heart rate slowed,

lump in my throat softened and went away,

all systems back to normal.

One of the final testimonies was a brother that said his wife 

gave him the nudge he needed when she reminded him that this Sunday,

the 4th of December, would be his last chance to 

bear his testimony this year.

Oh my Goodness!!!

I don't want to miss my chance to share my feelings before 

2011 ends. 

Soooooo....

sorry, but this may be long.... 

I am continually amazed at how my spirituality ebbs and flows.

Grows and diminishes.

Thrives, 

and then I find I have to resuscitate my spirit again.

I know when I am not living up to my spiritual potential,

but rather functioning on my more worldly, 

preoccupied standards.

I know this, I can tell by the way I feel inside.

I know what to watch for,

but still time and again I forget.

I start wondering why I am so on edge,

why my temper is so close to the surface,

why are the kids driving me mad....

not to mention Kev.

I wonder what my problem is,

why I have no life,
 and on and on.

Then, as happened just the other day,

I had a conversation while running with a friend...

(always running....)

We started in on a spiritual topic,

and it hit me!

Hello!

You are not taking care of your spirit!!

You have forgotten to nourish your soul!!!

Dummy!

I have no problem reminding my kids, to pray, to 

read their scriptures, to hone in on those life saving principles....

but when it comes to myself I am easily distracted and

seem to think it is not nearly as important for myself as it is for them.

Pea - brain!!

I absolutely know how important it is to continually set 

physical goals.

Keep strengthening.
Keep improving and adding on.

Take it to the next level.

A new challenge to stay motivated and excited about
learning and doing more.

Why do I short change my spirit so often?

As with exercise, and eating properly.

You get out what you put in.

You reap from what you sew.

I fully understand the concepts.

One lady this past testimony meeting spoke about her love for the 

Book of Mormon.

She absolutely drinks in the words,
 and is filled with the light 

from the pages.

I want to taste that.

I have a testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon,

have read it several times.

But I have never got to the point of wanting to lap it up.

Just as it doesn't simply take "wanting" streamlined
shoulders and arms to have them.

I can't want to love the Book of Mormon by looking at its cover.

When I do get those most excellent arms by working dang hard 

on them consistently, and deliberately over a period of time.

I don't say, sweet I got them.

I'm done.

I CONTINUE WORKING THEM OUT!

Muscle memory.

Spiritual muscle memory.....

that is what I need.

Since a fairly young age I have had a testimony of the gospel.

I have never doubted that Heavenly Father lives and that he loves me.

That He is aware of my needs.

He knows my weaknesses.

He knows my strengths.

He knows me.

This morning I was contemplating how I would describe my 

relationship to the gospel.

What is it to my life?

I decided the Gospel of Jesus Christ is my ROCK.

Not really a new concept....but for the first time I actually pictured an actual 

rock in my mind.

How big, what kind, how does it look to me?

My never changing, solid, unmoving foundational ROCK.

I am the one that moves closer or farther away....

My Rock remains the same.
Stable and in position, anchored and firm.

There have been times in my life when I have been in full 

contact with my Rock.

I have had a firm grip with both hands.

I am best when I am looking in the direction of my Rock.

Deliberately facing and focusing in that direction.

There are times when I am just leaning up against it with my back.

Maybe I have one foot up on it,

you know the look...
Marlboro Man.

Way too casual for my own good.

No growth or progress in this position.

A new year is only weeks away....

I have not made resolutions for a few years.

This year I want to commit to one.

I want to see what happens if I really "Get A Grip".

I want to try and hold my rock up with both hands, 

all while looking at it.

I want to feel the burn of my growing spiritual capacity.

I want to chase that burn.

I am excited.

I need to start making a plan, consider how to go about

this venture.

Want to join me in some way??

It would be great to be accountable to a partner or two
with similar goals.

Thanks for sticking with this long post...

Good night.

-----------------------------------

I loved President Uchtdorfs talk during the Christmas devotional...
I tried to move this to a new post,
but it proved to be too big of a pain.
Maybe you can watch it on another day....
but don't miss it.