CTR....

For as long as I can remember....

(that is not saying much)

Kevin and I have had a struggle with a certain issue

in our marriage.

I hate to call it a "Power Struggle",

it was more of a "I'm RIGHT, and You are Wrong"

kind of thing. 

I was clearly in the right.

Completely justified in my actions.

.

The other day, maybe even two weeks ago,

Kevin said to me,

I want you to stop throwing my clothes up into the top 

of my closet.

I said, you mean when you leave your suit coat, pants, and white

shirt draped on the kitchen chairs you 

no longer want me to get them out of sight and 

chuck them in your closet?

Yes.

After 18 years of marriage I want you to understand 

that you are never going to train me to hang up 

my clothes by teaching me a lesson.

It is never going to work.

Please stop throwing my clothes in my closet.

OK.

This was such an interesting conversation for me.

It was almost like I was watching it apart from 

myself.

Standing back a little.

Sounds dumb....but I knew right then and there that

that was the right choice.

I will never lay, throw, pack, or jam Kev's 

clothes into his closet again.

It was the end of almost 20 years of conflict and not a little 

bit of resentment at times.

Since that time,

I no longer leave Kevin's pants or shorts out of the wash if he 

leaves his belt in.

If they are on the floor,

I pick them up and look at them,

smell them, as if they were my own,

then I take the belt out, hang it up,

 and either put the shorts/pants in the wash,

or I fold them and put them on his shelf in a loving manner.

I have not been involved with his church clothes once yet.

He has taken them in and hung them up.

But I would do it if I saw that he forgot,

or got busy.

I am looking for the chance when I get to do this for him.

I realized that it is a small and simple thing that I can

do to serve and support him.

What changed?

Why was my heart so soft that day?

Why did it take us (me) nearly 20 years to find peace 

with such a ridiculous precedence I had set?

Since the clothing thing I have 

added pre-loading K's tooth brush each morning and night.

Dumb, maybe, but he has noticed.

This quote is taped in my planner to remind me-

"The small things remind you of why you 

are with this person"