Just talking out loud....

Well, week two of public school starts up tomorrow. I can't believe we are already two weeks into it. So far we are all really enjoying ourselves. The kids are on this crazy adventure. They are so serious and responsible with their homework, and cannot believe the kids they see at school that "don't even do it", they see some kids in class that just hurry and fill in the answers when the teachers go over their work. They are flabbergasted and just don't get it. I am really proud of all their efforts.

Myself....I was really panicked as to how I would handle my alone time. After seven years of having my whole gang home with me and working together on their education, I was terrified to see a huge chunk of my identity marching out the door. Who am I now??? What makes me amazing and special without the fact that I gasp....HOMESCHOOL my children!!!!?. Now I am just a normal mom. I am regular. Anyone can be a mom. I am coming to grips with my normalness. It (embarrassing to admit) makes me think back to High School.....feeling so average and invisible. What would it take to stand out from the crowd and be a unique and interesting individual. Not being the head cheerleader, or class president, class clown......etc. Religion was not something that could help me stand apart, because growing up in Utah EVERYONE (except for the few that stood out cuz they weren't) were also LDS.

Anyway, in all truth, I am loving my time. I have purposefully been staying quite busy. Surprisingly enough the days are flying by way to quickly and I am finding myself racing home to beat the clock, or finish my latest project by the 2:30 deadline so I can be fully present when the kids get home.

This week I am going to try an experiment, I am going to see if I can relax (just a little), and go do some frivolous activities without feeling too guilty. I think I have it in me to go all alone to the beach and read. I have always wanted to. I also have three one hour massages that I purchased at our last GNO burning a hole in my wallet. I am making my schedule now.